Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
