just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
