therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
