hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Everything about him screamed your future.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
