They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
