I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
