I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
is wine microwaveable?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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