We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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