Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
