Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
