so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
