So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
