how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
