Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
