Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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