I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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