at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
