At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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