Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
