The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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