just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
