yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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