Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
