I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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