What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
