pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
