Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
