Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
