you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
