I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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