was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
