Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
