i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
