Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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