dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
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I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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