It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
