Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
