And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize