Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
