well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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