At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
