She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
