doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Never underestimate the power of titties
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
