There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
