I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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