so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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