The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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