They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
