i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
