Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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