are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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