No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
