I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
