I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
