One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i think im in europe. pls send help
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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