the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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