i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
