Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
