you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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