some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
