He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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