I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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