I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
