This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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